Saturday, November 29, 2008

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Speeding Ticket

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?


Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding
.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.


Officer: Can I see your license please?


Older Woman:I'd give it to you but I don't

have one.

Officer: Don't have one?


Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for

drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle

registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.


Officer: Why not?


Older Woman: I stole this car.


Officer: Stole it?


Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked

up the owner.

Officer: You what?


Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic

bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly

backs away to his car and calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your

vehicle please! The woman steps out of her
vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?


Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you

have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?


Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk

of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing

but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?


Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration

papers.
The officer is quite stunned.


Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you

do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls

out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks

quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers

told me you didn't have a license, that you stole
this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was

speeding, too!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008